Tell Me What Women Like
by Tobi Katsura
Summary: Berlin requested our heroes to go and ask women about what women like as gifts. Let's see how they fare, shall we?


**Tell Me What Women Like**

* * *

**~ Cassius Palace Interior - Hallway ~**

It was a regular day in the palace. Walking through a hallway, Lady Kayleen immersed herself in a book. The palace guards were amazed by how the Court Sorceress could read without bumping into anything.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps filled the hallway. Kayleen stopped in her tracks for she knew the sound didn't come from her heels. The sound stopped right in front of her. Looking up from her book, she saw a little girl. She had a slime on her head. She had an innocent smile on her face as she stared at the Court Sorceress.

"Excuse me," Kayleen said, hoping for the little girl to move away. The little girl didn't budge. Instead, she rose her index finger as if she was about to ask a question. "I'm really busy, and I don't like to be disturbed," Kayleen cut before the little girl could say anything. She then immediately blinked passed the girl and continued to read.

The little girl quickly turned around. "Hey, wait! I have a question!" she called as she briskly walked after Kayleen.

* * *

**~ Saint Haven - Northern District ~**

"Tell me what women like," Edan asked Kelly, a surprisingly well-known merchant in Saint Haven.

Kelly blushed. "I'm... A bit surprised. I assumed that someone like you would already know."

Edan raised an eyebrow. He felt a bit uncomfortable. "Heh... Don't tell me. You think I should be fabulous enough to know."

"Uh, no, not really..." Kelly replied. Honestly, she thought he had experience in dating women. I mean, look at him, it's like his swag switch got broken, leaving it stuck on "On."

Edan wasn't listening. Instead, he continued, "I mean, yeah, I know that The Order is full of men who happen to dress well. And then, there's that jump pose incident. Even I shouldn't be surprised..."

Kelly proceeded to comfort the young Edan by patting his shoulder. "It's ok."

Edan slowly knelt into a fetal position as he continued, "The stereotype... The jokes... They're starting to hurt..."

Kelly then proceeded to give Edan a big comfort hug. It was then that she realized that Edan had manly shoulders.

"... I don't know who I am anymore..."

* * *

**~ Cassius Palace Interior - Main Hall ~**

We find the Court Sorceress in the main hall of the castle. The book she was reading was a study on Arcane Magic and its relation with the magic of the elves. The guards were amazed by how she could read a book standing up without getting tired.

Beside Kayleen was the little girl from before. The girl, Commelina, continued to stare at Kayleen, waiting for the Court Sorceress to notice her.

Disturbed by the presence of the girl with the slime on her head, Kayleen quickly blinked away to another part of the room.

Commelina simply walked to where Kayleen was.

Kayleen blinked away again.

Commelina walked toward Kayleen again.

Kayleen blinked away once more.

Commelina walked toward Kayleen once more.

And so, it continued...

* * *

**~ Saint Haven - Western District ~**

Stella had her eyes glued onto her crystal tablet (powered by Dragonoid!). She was visiting a somewhat devious-looking website set up by "The Pope Group." She hoped to buy a new plot of land for her latest project: Karaculeland. In the middle of canvassing for prices, she was interrupted by two young girls.

She recognized the first girl as Angelica, the sorceress prodigy who blew all her money... Wait, I mean the Sorceress Convent's money... though gambling. She actually had a good reason for doing this, but yeah...

The second girl had a browner complexion and a much more developed frame. Angelica introduced this girl as Kali, a new friend who had the same mission as her.

Stella figured that they needed help. "It seems like you two have something on your minds. Come. You can tell me." The two girls then proceeded to ask about what girls liked. This surprised Stella. "That should be easy. Any ordinary girl would know the answer to that."

The two girls giggled uncomfortably.

"Heh... Yeah... I should have thought of that... Ordinary girls..."

"... Yeah... With ordinary lives..."

"Sure, my family was really poor. Dirt poor..."

"... My village, which I saw as my family, was massacred just recently..."

"Everyone expected a lot from me... Labeling me as a genius... Didn't make many friends..."

"I didn't even have time to think of hanging out with friends... It was training... Day in and day out..."

"... I was different from them..."

"... Me, too..."

The two girls continued to drone on and on, ignoring the Sorceress Trainer. Stella felt that she may have accidentally hit them where it hurt...

* * *

**~ Cassius Palace Interior - Royal Library ~**

Kayleen, the Court Sorceress, decided to continue her reading in the royal library. Commelina, the little girl, was once again standing there, staring at the Court Sorceress. Kayleen began to wonder how this little girl was able to get in here...

* * *

**~ Earlier... ~**

Royal Guard: "I'm sorry, kid. Only autho-"

Commelina: *ANIMEKAWAIISUKIDESU FACE*

* * *

Kayleen tried to mentally say what she was reading. She hoped to keep her mind away from the girl that had been stalking her since this morning. Just look at her. She's as small as Kali's Stalker, except with a slime on her head.

Kayleen quickly peeked over her shoulder to see that Commelina was now imitating Stalker's movements. She quickly shook her head. "Focus, Kayleen. You're just seeing things... Focus... Some of the risks in combining Arcane Magic and Elven Magic include..."

BAM! The doors swung open. Xian the Warrior burst through the doors. "There you are!" cried Xian, "I've been looking all over for you!"

Commelina reprimanded Xian, saying that he shouldn't make too much noise in a library. "BUT I'M A HOWLER," replied Xian. Mass facepalming ensued.

Kayleen began to mutter about vagrants freely moving in and out of the palace. She then wondered how this little boy was able to get into the Royal Library.

* * *

**~ Earlier... ~**

Royal Guard: "Listen. We're not going to let anoth-"

Xian: *ANIMEKAWAIISUKIDESU FACE*

* * *

Xian asked Commelina what she was doing here. After she had explained to him the situation, Xian decided to help her. Both of them proceeded to stare at Kayleen until she would notice them.

Tired of this annoyance, Kayleen closed her book, opened a small portal, and proceeded to jump into said portal.

* * *

**~ Saint Haven - Western District ~**

"Excuse me, Ms. Ithilien," greeted Triana.

"Yes, is there anything I can do for you?" asked Ithilien.

"Yes. Can you tell me what women like?"

The Archer Master's eyes widened. As she covered her mouth, her cheeks began to show a shade of pink. "Oh my!"

Confused, Triana raised an eyebrow and asked, "Is something wrong?"

Ithilien sighed. "Sigh... It doesn't matter whether it's humans or elves... Today's generation is... Sigh..." She shook her head.

Triana continued to look on in confusion.

Ithilien continued, "But then, for an elf, I guess it can't be helped. There are far more female elves than male ones. I shouldn't be surprised if a girl like you would end up falling for another girl."

Triana was taken aback. "Wai- What?!"

Ithilien's hands rested on her chest. "That must be it."

"Wh-wait! You don't understand! I-!" A flushed Triana muttered.

Ithilien rested her hands on Triana's shoulders as a sign of reassurement. "Listen to me. If she is who your Telezia is leading you to, then by all means, go for it. Don't lose this chance."

And so begins another misunderstanding for our young heroine.

* * *

**~ Cassius Palace Interior - ? ~**

Kayleen's just standing there reading her book. Two kids were standing beside her. They've been staring at her for about an hour now.

The Court Sorceress tried her best to concentrate on her book, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't keep the image of their innocent, hopeful faces out of her mind. Their eyes were piercing through her soul. It didn't help that the slime on that one kid's head was staring at her, too.

Enough was enough. She couldn't take it anymore. Kayleen immediately slammed her book shut. "Ok! You got my attention! What do you want?!"

The two kids cheered when they realized they succeeded. Even the slime hopped up and down in excitement.

"Hurry up before I decide to turn you both into goblins, tie you both to steaks, and leave you to die in the center of a monster-infested dungeon."

Commelina immediately explained to the Court Sorceress their situation, which was to learn about what women like.

* * *

**~ Saint Haven - Eastern District ~**

Hand-in-hand, our two young heroes, Commelina and Xian, excitedly dashed back to the Eastern District, where a certain confused and downtrodden blacksmith could be found.

"WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! YAY!"

"I didn't think it would take us that long, but anyway, I wonder how the others are do- UMF!"

Commelina was cut-off in mid-sentence by a tall figure who had just bumped into her. It was Edan, and he looked less than well. The two kids tried to greet him, but Edan simply continued to walk like a ghoul, moaning incomprehensibly aside from the random lines of, "I don't know who I am anymore," and, "What is a man?"

The two kids dragged Edan back to the blacksmith. There, they found their companions sitting on a nearby bench. Angelica and Kali had their arms around each other, supporting each other as they cried about how neither of them could live their lives like ordinary girls. Triana sat with them to comfort them, though she had trouble fighting the unexplainable urge to examine them more closely.

All the while, Berlin, the reason our heroes went on this mission in the first place, simply sat there as before and continued to ponder on what gift he should give to Harori. Yes, Berlin was able to ignore the scene that was unfolding before him all because of Harori's influence, an influence that's probably as powerful as the Red Dragon. Or worse.

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Dragon Nest (C) Eyedentity Games


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